Puppy Love?

"Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books" -William Shakespeare

Sometimes, when you're a middle school reading teacher, you may do things in class solely for your own personal amusement. The days are long and often require innovative spicing up. You may occasionally ask certain questions or call on certain kids because you know the responses will quickly become the best part of your day or at least make for a good story over drinks with your friends who toil away in a cube rather than a classroom. I'm not sure about the morality of using kids for laughs, but sometimes it's so worth it.

Today was one of those days. There's something equal parts irresistible, scary and adorable about reading Romeo and Juliet with seventh graders. At first, they're grossed out that Juliet's an innocent 12 years old when she meets, falls immediately in love with, sleeps with and marries Romeo. Ewww, SICK. Then, slowly, one by one, light-bulbs blink and they start to realize: "Wait. I'm only 12, and I believe in true love! I've been in love! Five times since April! I'm in love right now!" Suddenly, those star-crossed lovers aren't so gross; that's real life, man. Shakespeare's not just some old dude who flows in rhyme and allusion. He knows what's up; it's like Shakespeare's been to middle school in the South 'Burg. Finally, someone gets us. The first time you relate to literature is really, really delicious, and that's written without an ounce of sarcasm.

So I asked my classes if they believe it's possible to find true love at 12. Serious question. They took some time to get their thoughts down on paper--all pens were moving because this is real talk--then we came together to debate the topic as a class. As you might imagine, almost all hands were raised. It's like they care more about young love than literary devices or something. The response was a resounding yes. Of course.

My first instinct is to laugh. Their relationships consist mainly over Facebook. A "serious" relationship could start and end (with tears) before the school day is over. All amorous communication may exist through an intermediary friend--you know the one, probably doesn't have a date of his or her own, but is gregarious and loud-mouthed and perfect for making things happen. And quick. Nonetheless, it's all in the name of true love--pure and sweet.

It's easy to laugh, write-off and preach, to hopelessly attempt to bestow your "wisdom" onto the younger generation and tell them that they're too young, too inexperienced, too naive to really know about love. But I was doing the same shit just ten years ago (okay, I never really had a middle school boyfriend: My hair was too frizzy and my boobs were too small). At each stage of life, you know only the stage you're in. Foresight is difficult to obtain. To a 13-year-old, that's all you've got, and it's an early, half-formed version of what will fairly quickly transform into real dating, real relationships and real heartbreak.

At 24, the most serious thing I've got under my belt is a two-year relationship. It seems heavy and real to me when I look back on it, but those two years were a drop--an immature drop--in life's gigantic bucket. We felt love, I think, but who knows if that feeling felt any more authentic to us than the same feeling feels to a 13-year-old. While I can look down at the kids with the shoddy wisdom that ten years gives me, I'm not exactly in a position to judge.

In some ways, their relationships are adorable. In New Orleans, the brightest girl in the grade and the brightest boy in the grade started dating--match made in middle school heaven. The cynic in me laughed, but then I looked the other way when I saw them holding hands at the aquarium and trading marine biology facts while contemplating a gigantic stingray. That's pretty damn cute; who am I to break that up?

I do worry that young love is not always entirely innocent. Before marrying the teenage couple, Friar Lawrence warns Romeo of the dangers of love that moves too fast, untempered. Beware speedy love, it's like too much candy in your stomach. Like many things in the inner city, middle school love can move fast. In some cases, it might move faster than you can get latex on a banana in health class, if you get my drift. I'm sure you've read the articles, seen some stats: contraception isn't always totally approved of or utilized and teen pregnancy rates are high. While 13 seems young, it definitely happens. Young love can turn from adorable stingray viewing to life-ruining pretty quickly if kids don't have their facts straight. It grosses me out to think about, but mostly it makes me nervous. There are certain byproducts of puppy love that don't feel entirely innocuous.

The questions is how, as a young educator, I should react to the trysts of my students. To laugh, to turn the other cheek, to warn, to advise, to make them stop? It's definitely a case-by-case basis and maybe it's not really my place at all to meddle. Puppy love got a certain Shakespearean duo into big trouble, but that has little by way of modern-day comparison or warning. I think the best thing to keep in mind is that love feels very real to those who are in it, whether you're 13, 24 or 86. Perhaps all action taken or advice spewed should be predicated on that truth. So go ahead and touch palms in the aquarium, but let's leave it that.